Friday, 25 April 2014

Processor Eastern Tour diary

Here is a run down of events from PROCESSOR's April 2014 tour & album launch...

On April 3rd we played at HAVN in Hamilton. Doghat, Creative Rotting & Jahtisim opened the night with much noise and irresponsible frequencies. The crowd were enthused and the place was thick with smoke at the end of the night, dancing occurred.

My good friend Ankixa took us in for the night. We admired her extensive collection of dead things, medical equipment, shoes & Goblin paraphernalia. The giant puppy DeeDee and black kitty Tron were there too, and a seemingly pleasant off-duty chef.

In Peterborough we checked out Blue Streak Records before setting up at The Spill to play with noisy rap artist Garbage Face and noisy poet Idle Crow. Next we drove on to Ottawa, and set up at Pressed Cafe. Our equipment got locked in a room, but wiz Marc Molnar was able to unlock it with a knife. Marc performed an awesome set of electro acoustics on cello, ambient and talkative strings. Topon Das delivered layers of processed feedback to a very pleased crowd + children. It was a great night over all, no one died.

Next Montreal with Hobo Cubes and Cell Memory. Hobo played a set of mostly beats and abstract soundscapes, while Cell Memory took us on a trip of minimal synth beats and noisy breakdowns.  Megon, (Only Death is Fatal), took us in and we met another cat there along with a ridiculous record collection.

2hrs of sleep and a hang over helped us move on toward Quebec. A short nap on the side of the road, then we were officially off to New Brunswick. It was here that it began to feel like we were far from take-off point. The landscape tells you so. Edmunston & the Happy Club Hotel was the gateway.

Dead tired, but inspired by the first rays of spring sunshine, we stayed awake and put together our Ghost Factory video. The idea was to use our hotel room as the star of the show.


We left for the coast the next day, deciding on the scenic route. It started off ok, with a warning sign spelling out "no gas for 135km". I was nearly empty, but had enough for that, definitely. The road is known as "Death Highway" because of moose collisions. On this particular day it was the slush and freezing rain that suddenly took over, the road is more of a sculpture than an even ground, add thickening slush and it's a disaster zone. We drove for an hour, spinning and sliding, going super slow. We barely made it up the hills, so decided to park on top of one. There seemed to be no one else on the road. The freezing rain intensified for a bit... So M suggested she read us some passages from a book as we sat there, hazards flickering. A nice man drove up and ensured us the road gets better. We drove on together and sure enough it cleared up enough to get to a gas station and back into civilization.

Next came awesome ocean-side vistas and a two night stay in a tiny town where everything is closed except for Captain John's Antiques. Cap. J told me he had 1000's of records in the attic, but "uh, we can't get to them, it's too crammed". Then he said "I got tons of records in the basement, but uh... we can't get to them... it's too crammed". Then he said "Uh, I got more in the car outside, but uh, it's kind of impossible to get to". Truth is, Miramichi was buried under mountains of snow, and indeed everything was impossible to get to. Even the river. The park was a 20ft pile of ice. So we stayed in our hotel room and recorded a piece on my 4-track using cassettes found at the local Salvation Army that day.

Where does the water end and the shore begin?

Great cassettes from Salvation army in Miramichi. Mystery Boyz is a tape release from Saskatoon, 1999, sung by a choir of 'At Risk Youth', in a detention centre there. Norman Learo is an off the radar Canadian electronic composer from 1992. The whale tape is just a whale tape.

Then came our Moncton gig with Paranerd, Last Museum, & John Pridham Project. An intimate show with more fantastic noise enthusiasts. Put together by the amazing Kyle at the Caveau. Next came Halifax and another evening of melodic noise and squelch brought on by locals DA/AD, Tim Crabtree & Stelliform at a cool vintage shop called Plan B. Another cat. Next came Fredericton, and another gig at a 2nd hand shop - ReNeu Boutique. Mostly young people, an all ages event with local power pop band, Emotional Problems and touring Calgary band, Lab Coast. A member of Lab proved he could eat 6 Premium Plus crackers in 60 sec.

John Pridham Project played various records through a processor while singing and telling stories to a revolving head, and played an Omnichord.

At the Plan B, Halifax, NS.

Crowne Plazma Hotel carpet, Fredericton, NB.

Our final stop before home was Quebec city. As always L'Hotel Belley Particulier is the best place to stay. The place to play was L'Agitee with Marc Antoine-Dion.

This is where French people shot at English people.

I heard on the CBC today that Quebec is the best place for women to live, and Edmonton the worst.

If the English won Quebec they'd rename it McBeckerton.

A re-enactment of the great battle.

The winding street from the hotel. Early morning.

Quebec hi-light:  M trying her best to politely ask the cabby for a ride in French, only to realize he is busy peeing, then zips up his fly and answers her in English.

View from the pier, where some kids were fishing, and we  finished off a bag of cheese curds.

Our final hometown show at Handlebar, Toronto, with Cell Memory and Memorex.

Cell Memory was a solo act consisting of minimal beats and synth breaks, noisy and chaotic. Memorex plays bass heavy, dark synth pop with echoing vocals. The whole night was noisy, with people actually dancing to our distorted out of control sound bruises. Dancing occurred.

Thanks to all that helped, here are some links:

Cell Memory
Topon Das
Emotional Problems
Garbage Face
Hobo Cubes
Only Death Is Fatal
Marc Antoine-Dion
Marc Molnar
Captain John's